What does it take to turn 60..

In the past few years 4 of them I knew turned 60. My dad, One of kashyap's aunt, His dad and his sisters father in law. The least celebrated of all was my dad's of course.. We did not even gift him anything.. :).

Anyways, So what does it take to turn 60?. I remember the phrase which says " You can sleep through the years and become old or you can live through the years and become wise". All these four must have had different lives. Had varied experiences , Some to remember some to forget.

The only person whom i have seen close to live through the years is my dad. So my thoughts about turning 60 or older are based on my personal experiences in observing my dad.

I think he lives by the philosophy " This too shall pass.. ".. He was a science graduate , loved biology, wanted a career in that direction, But he moved on to history instead, later to get a Phd in the field of Epigraphy. So that was a change which he had to accept. I'm sure he must have had ambitions and desires like most of us do in his youth, Married my mom, Moved to mysore. Well moving to mysore in those days was probably like moving to a different country these days. You can imagine how they had to adapt. 

My dad's strength, his weakness, his sorrow, his joy,  his love, his fears, his friend, his backbone is my mom. A relation  which they have built over years, Of course any relation comes with it's share of complaints about each other. They might not be the most perfect pair who have complimented each other, but they definitely have built a very strong relationship among themselves and for the family. 

A family is the most secure feeling which probably is the best. In fact as far as I'm concerned i think i get hurt the most when i feel insecure.. or I remember those moments distinctly in my life when I have felt insecure vividly with the days I've felt happier.

Anyones life comes with their share of ups and downs so did his, be it health, be it financial, be it compromise. Together along with mom they gave us the best, morals, culture, education, lessons on friends, fitting in society, people & behaviour, places, travel, finance, of course, laughter, tears all living by example, not advised but actually showed us how to be through it. Out of the many things that influenced me one of the important things was how to face situations in life , It's a four principled formula work towards solving, face it with silence, have patience, when through it forget it.. 

So, that was their adulthood working to make lives better for us. Taking decisions for the family cart to run smooth. Fulfilling their wish to build a nice little home for themselves , a good retired life with some savings. Of course, educating kids, seeing them settle in a job,  getting them married.  Nothing out of the ordinary. A normal life. 

So obviously to turn 60 takes an emotional roller coaster ride. 

I remember,

the day I got married and the happiness on my parents face, wishing me happiness for my life.

the day when kashyap first arrived at the chennai airport and the anxiety my parents had in their face.

the day when I managed to get a set in engineering of course in the payment quota, not in the regular one... and the anger they had towards unkown.. :)

The day when they were proud that they own their own home with the loan  paid off.., Their first TV, Their first fridge, their first vehicle, their first telephone.. 

the day I landed in India after marriage and my visit to the hospital where my dad cried out so loud , out of frustration, pain, anger, and a desire to live.

the days when I was moved to tears when my dad said being in the ICU " I have to get you married  " in Chennai , "I didn't see kashyap after your marriage, can you ask him to come now .." in Hyderabad, " Take care of my daughter, she's a child and she's nice ".. over phone just before his third operation last year. 

I call it self-respect.. others call it "mohamatam", of not taking anything from anyone.. not even us kids... My dad thinks it's an insult. I know he loves cameras, he loves biscuits, he loves to try new things, But the pride always stops him from asking.He says if you want something ask me.. I'll give it to you. 

I'm sure for many of them it takes a similar route. My brother will have his share of experiences with my dad.., Wow.. He must have seen so much change.. and now when i see him play with arnav.. i see the child of course a matured child :)..  

Probably it takes a lot to be 60... You have to live it , build a personality of your own, Gain respect within your family being both an individual and a part and a lot more small things that make a big picture. 

   

When things go overboard...

Most of the times we do see what lies in front of us, It's not that all of a sudden something just strikes us. Off late i started believing that nothing happens without our knowledge.. We can predict what will happen if we are not careful with certain things.

It's a bad feeling when someone you trust just takes you for granted and goes overboard. & is not guilty of what they do. You don't know whether out of love you'll have to excuse them and take all the grief and burden to yourself or just be strict about the whole thing. No matter what you do out of the both. The feeling that remains is very unpleasant.

Sometimes it's good when elders too do a study of themselves as of what they have achieved in their lives, it's time they introspect and not take anyone for granted. Everyone is an individual human and everyone have their stand and limits, it'll be good if that's respected.

I keep my fingers crossed so things do change.

Cilantro Rice and Black Beans..

I finally made the cilantro rice which I have been planning to make for past few months, From the time I saw Rachel Ray's Show..

So , It was not so simple to make.

I took about an hour and half.. Thanks to the handsome guy with me.. He allowed me to cook.

So i made brown rice, cooked with vegetable stock of course..

Then I pressure cooked the black beans, And to spice up I used the Chinese 'Five Spice' Recipe..

I had Star anise with me for probably 2 years now :).. I finally used it for the Five spice recipe..

And ofcourse the Cilantro Pesto..

Overall it was a heavy dinner.. a good one too..

Made brown rice today too.. , and back to sambar . :).

I Think Therefore I am..

Everyday I discover something new about myself.... I find the quoted text describes how I am ..

" An insatiable curiosity through which one explores and learns about the world in which one lives. The world of ideas is a playground in which you roam. The magic of the mind enchants , as one idea captivates your imagination after another. Meeting people, traveling, reading, talking and learning are all means to gain a viewpoint on your own personal identity. Don't let your identity rest on ideas, but rather on the very nature of the mind itself. Thoughts are fleeting but mental activity is endless. Need variety and stimulation. This can involve travel, communication, talking to people - anything which gives the opportunity to develop your mind and contact others."